I never believed in them, not for a minute. The first conversation I remember having about them was with friends (all married), male and female, in my mid 20s. I was married and I loved my husband deeply, but when a friend posed the question at a get together if we all thought we married our "soul mate" it created a bit of a debate within our circle. My argument was and still is, if I lived in a different part of the world, I would find someone to love there, so how could I be limited to one soul mate? How could there even be such a thing? I married the man I love, was he my soul mate? Do I have the concept of what one is? Truthfully my knowledge of love at the age of twenty would essentially hold enough air to fill a small balloon and in no way is that a slanderous statement to young people, "it is what it is"... as my friend would say.
Life is about growth, growth comes with knowledge, knowledge is gained over years and years. It has no capacity. Today, my knowledge would likely fill an air balloon, which seems huge, but in twenty more years, hopefully it fills a blimp! We are destined to marry within our proximity. We are destined to love our neighbors, classmates, coworkers, & friends. These don't necessarily (although it can) equate to a soul mate, nor will that determine the success or failure of your marriage. Anyhow, we are taught that a soul mate is unanimous with a lover, but that is such a confined thought! A soul mate is not limited by lust or grounded by proximity, and it is certainly not bound by a persons gender. A soul mate is just that, a PERSON, capable of penetrating your soul, not fixed to only being a lover, though if they are, you'll know...one touch and the flow of energy transfers from your skin to theirs. You can feel their pulse, the flow of their blood stream, every heartbeat, every breath, every movement coordinates within yours whether you are together or not, you are an extension of each other. Not to be confused with lust, nor just a sexual experience. Lust is a feeling which dies, soul mates feelings are deeply intertwined, lasting, tantric, wild, an unexplained connection through, thoughts, and feelings, through friendship or otherwise. They can be a man or a woman in your life, and when the opposite sex presents itself, sometimes we mistakenly think we should love that person, marry that person, and we get swept away in emotions for that person, when in fact they are mirror images of us, not always meant to be lifelong lovers. I waited 30+ years to realize I do have soul mates (PLURAL), 20 years ago the mere thought I would've even entertained the idea was preposterous, but I hadn't met them yet...©J.M.Dare 2013
(As a noteworthy side note, my friend who originally posed the question is still happily married some 20 years later, even though her husband opposed the whole idea of soul mates all those years ago.)